Ecchi is bad
by boiya
Summary: Anna is stood up by Yoh & bad becomes worse when she ends up finding a perverted magazine in his room. Its not your normal ecchi magazine either... Man is she pissed. Comedy with an perverted twist. Its only horror for Yoh.


Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King so please don't sue me. I will not be responsible for any sudden bursts of tears that this fic may cause or the up and down feelings that you may experience from reading this. I will not be held liable for any injuries that you may receive from your side hurting or if you fall out of your chair from laughing so hard. Enjoy.

"Yoh!" It was the sound of a female's voice, a commanding voice that was coming from downstairs. "Yoh!" Anna Kyouyama stood at the base of the stairs waiting for her fiancée to answer her back. Her lips pursed and nostrils flared, as she waited yet there was no reply. She was going to punish him and punish him good. She dropped her bag and removed her shoes.

They were supposed to be going out to the market downtown to pick up a couple of things that she had wanted to get. He was mainly just coming along to act as the pack mule so that he could carry whatever she bought, but it was things for the house. She had just returned home at the scheduled time that they were supposed to meet to go out. She had been forced to call his name, not just once, but twice.

She stormed up the stairs, the spirits that inhabited the house floated off in fear and hid as each step that the Itako took vibrated throughout the hallow house. There was no place that they could escape to as they felt the venomous wrath that radiated from the source that was making her way toward a certain young Shaman's room.

"Yoh, I'm coming in." She glared at his door and almost slammed it opened. Her gaze fell into the empty room. He wasn't there, nor was his headphones. It was all signs that he currently wasn't at home. "That bastard…" She snarled out and blew smoke into the room as if a dragon had entered its den only to find that someone had stolen its treasure.

She entered the room and walked around looking for any signs that he had been there recently. She found none though she noticed that a few items seemed to be scattered across his floor. He really needed to clean up his room though she knew that he wouldn't have time in the future to do that even after she got done with him.

She picked up several things and placed them back at their respective spots on the shelves. She had been in his room on several occasions and was very familiar with where he put things. Her gaze fell on some scattered magazines that were in reach from the windowsill. She walked over and begun to tidy them up, but she didn't miss one of the magazines as it seemed to shine, drawing her into wanting to know what it was.

Her curiosity got the best of her as she read the title of the magazine silently. Her dull eyes narrowed, her lips drawn into a straight line.

"Ecchi." She grabbed the magazine out from the stack and set the rest on the table. She left out of the room with the magazine tightly rolled up, the magazine about ready to be snapped in half in her tight grasp.

Yoh walked into the house and removed his shoes.

"Tadaima!" He called as he stepped onto the wooden floor and froze. Anna stood in the hallway with her back up against the wall and her eyes closed. Something was rolled up in her hand and he didn't know what, but due to the fact that she was there waiting meant that she was waiting for him. Then it hit him, hard like a 5-ton school bus falling on him from out of nowhere.

Sweat poured from every pore on his body as he quickly tried to explain. "A-Anna! I'm sorry, I totally forgot what today was and Horohoro.." She raised one hand and he shut up instantly in complete utter fear for his life, even the sweat seemed to evaporate in fear of what was to come.

"Yoh." She began, but didn't continue. His name had come out of her mouth as she had so often spoken it on any other day of the week so he didn't know what to expect of it. She hadn't even opened her eyes yet or stopped leaning against the wall. She wasn't talking directly to him. That meant she was mad, really mad. So many things seemed to flash through his mind, excuses for why he was late. Nothing else came to mind, but for some reason he knew that it would all come to an end soon. Soon enough it would all cease to be for him as his whole life flew before his eyes. All the harshness or abuse he has known in life all due to her and her special training. His dream of becoming Shaman King would never come true because she would truly and utterly murder him for what he had done.

He had stood her up when it had been his idea to go along with her to begin with. She had merely mentioned that she was planning to go downtown for some things. Maybe she had known that he would offer to help and go with her. It was probably the reason why she had even said anything or maybe it had been to see if there was anything that he needed though she didn't exactly word it that way. She never did.

He waited there, lost in his own memories of a hard life and the girl that he was fated to marry. He didn't notice her push away from the wall or that she had opened her eyes or even that she had walked up next to him. What he did feel was the rolled up magazine slapping him upside the head.

"What is this!" She screamed at him as he flew up against the wall. It took a minute for the feeling to come back in his body again as he peeled himself off from the wall and his blood circulation was able to begin again. He thought that he was going to die.

She walked to the kitchen and opened a drawer. Her hand wrapped around something tightly and she made her way back next to the doorway. He was on his knees still trying to recover as he slowly shook his head to get out all of the little birdies that were flying around.

He looked up to see a knife pointed at him. Tears started to form in his eyes as he thought that she was going to kill him because he had stood her up. Then his eyes fell on the magazine and he understood.

"Take off your pants Yoh."

"EH!" Tears were already streaming down his face as he could already imagine what she was going to do to him and death had nothing to do with it. "Anything, but that! Anna, please!" He cried and pleaded, trying to change her mind. She never relented as he slowly begun to undo his belt. His tears never ceased falling, he was creating a Niagara Falls of his own, as he knew what was going to happen. She was the devil after all, worse than the devil because even he would never do this to another man. Anna was no man after all so she couldn't begin to understand how important that part of a man's body was to him.

Anna knew exactly what she was doing. Devil, she thought. She could clearly read his mind. The little bastard was calling her a devil. Her hand itched to slice off his head, his other head that is. Yoh tosses his pants off to the side wishing that he had worn boxers earlier, but he had been in a hurry when Horohoro had shown up so he had been unable to put any clean ones on so he had not bothered to put any on. He looked up at her and kept his hands together in silent prayer to the Great Spirit that it would save him.

If this had been any other moment, he would have believe that maybe, just maybe she was joking, but he could see the glimmer in her eye. She was mad. The woman was plain mad and all about some damned ecchi magazine. He knew that his standing her up was what was really driving her to this, but he had never known that she felt so passionate about something like this. For some reason, that brought an ecchi thought into his mind and he swallowed hard. A slight grunt came from her as she knew what he had been thinking and he knew that she greatly disapproved of it. She held the knife above her head, ready to bring it down any moment.

Horohoro walked in.

"Hey Yoh. I forgot my…" The Ainu stopped dead in his tracks as he looked at the scene before him. Yoh had no pants on and was down on his knees with his hands together as if in prayer. Anna stood above him with a knife in her hand and a demonic look in her eyes. Her horrifying gaze fell onto him. "Ano.. I'm leaving."

"Horohoro!" Yoh took advantage of the moment while her gaze wasn't centered on him to jump for Horohoro. He grabbed onto the other Shaman's leg and clung for dear life. "Save me!"

"Ahhh! Yoh! Get off!" Horohoro tried to pry Yoh off, but he just wouldn't let go. It was very disturbing for him to have a half naked Yoh clinging onto him with Anna watching them still with that evil look and a sharp deadly knife in her hand. Tears were streaming down Yoh's cheeks and if this had been any other moment, Horohoro knew that he would comfort his friend. But as the current situation sat with Anna in the room. He was feeling stiff and not just scared stiff.

"Tell her that it's really yours!" Horohoro raised an eyebrow not catching on to what was going on.

"What is mine?" The Ainu wiggled his leg in hopes of getting Yoh off.

"The magazine!" Yoh cried and buried his face into Horohoro's shorts.

"Ah." A sweatdrop formed on the side of his brow as he fought to control his own body. "That's actually what I came back to get." Yoh stopped crying and stared up at him, snot was dripping from his nose.

"Really?" Yoh couldn't believe it. He was saved. Horohoro had just admitted to the ecchi magazine as being his own.

It only took that moment for the Itako to realize what was going on. Yoh hadn't even tried to explain, at least he hadn't tried hard enough until now that she was able to read his mind and know what was going on. She pointed the knife at Horohoro instead. She knew the ecchi thought that he had just had of Yoh clinging onto him.

"Get out and stop thinking of my Yoh that way before I take your manhood instead." All color drained from Horohoro's face. He quickly covered his crotch and ran out the door.

"So what if I'm gay!" He yelled as he made his way out the door. "Who would want a girlfriend like you anyways!" He called over his shoulder as he flipped her off with his middle finger.

She was going to kill the Ainu as soon as she had the chance to, but then she decided to let it go as Horohoro faced forward and ran into the front gate. His unconscious form hit the ground hard and lied still there. She would torture the poor bastard later.

Yoh was laughing slightly in between deep breathes, a few tears still brimming on the corners of his eyes as he was half relieved that he was going to be able to keep his most important part. He needed it after all for when they would get married and though he didn't mean to exactly think of it that way. It just popped into his head that he would use it on Anna one day. He realized his mistake of random thoughts too late as she turned to glare at him.

The knife came soaring through the air and landed in the middle of his partially opened legs. The point stuck in the floor, a mere two inches away from his most important part. His jaw dropped in shock as to what had just happened. She had almost taken it completely off. If she had just thrown it a little bit more off, it would have completely cut it off entirely. He was in complete shock as she walked past him.

"Ecchi is bad." He heard her say as she passed him and disappeared into another part of the house.

Yoh sat there for several moments staring at the knife until he finally backed away from it. He curled into a ball and begun to tremble in horror as everything began to settle in. His imagination started getting the best of him as it started playing tricks on him as all kinds of images of his honeymoon with Anna popped into his mind and what all that she would put him through. He didn't believe that he would live through it all if something like this happens again. Anna was one scary bitch.

"I heard that!" She yelled from down the hallway. Yoh grabbed his pants, putting them on in record time. He slipped his sandals on and disappeared out the door. He had to get away from her before he really did lose his manhood.

Anna sat watching from the window as Yoh's figure disappeared into the horizon. She knew that he would be back. Her grip tightened around the headphones that laid at her side. He had forgotten his headphones on the floor and she had snatched them up before he could notice. He would be back for it at least and his records of Boblove. She smiled evilly as she already knew what she was planning to do to him. It was going to be a surprise, something even more exciting than what she had just done to him. It would teach him never again to think such bad thoughts about her either it be ecchi things or name-calling. She unrolled the ecchi magazine to see once again that it was a yaoi magazine. He would pay dearly.

A/N: I was inspired to write this after seeing Mahoromatic Season 2 Summer Special. XD I also needed a break from all the drama and fluff that I've been writing recently. ;


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